The Confidence Code Book Summary

Book Summary

15 min

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Brief Summary

Confidence does not come as easily to women as it does men. Between genetics and a childhood environment that doesn’t leave girls room to fail, women are set up to lack confidence. But it is possible to change that by shifting your thoughts. Redirect negative into positive and reframe failures into opportunities. Cracking the confidence code will help women thrive in male-dominated workplaces and all aspects of their lives.

About the Author

Katty Kay and Claire Shipman are both television journalists. Kay is a presenter for BBC World News America and Shipman is a correspondent for Good Morning America. The Confidence Code is their second book together. The first book, Womenomics, proved the corporate value of female management.

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Key Insights

Most people believe that women are less confident than men or women don’t behave as if they are as confident. But in many male-dominated fields, confidence is essential to workplace success.

In The Confidence Code, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman break down what confidence is and why it is important. Confidence is especially complex and problematic for women, but the authors explain how to crack the code to become more confident.

Confidence lets you act, even if you’re not sure you’ll succeed.

If you’ve ever regretted not being able to get yourself to do something, you’ve suffered from a lack of confidence before.

Kay and Shipman define confidence as believing in yourself enough to do or say something. This is not to say that you assume you’ll get it right or that you assume everything will just work out. You can be nervous or afraid, but you act anyway. This is confidence.

The other side of this is inaction because of a lack of confidence. Rather than risk failure, we choose not to do anything at all.

Confidence differs from perfectionism, optimism, and arrogance because there’s no assumption of a good outcome. You do not wait until you’re sure that you will be right. You do not act out of a positive outlook that everything generally works out fine. You do not have an unshakeable belief in your ability to succeed.

Taking action is a key part of confidence. It takes your attitudes or thoughts, and it turns them into something tangible. Of course, a positive outlook about the world and yourself can help boost your confidence. It means you take more action.

Women are more likely to lack confidence than men.

The difference in confidence between men and women generally is seen most clearly once you understand that it is about taking action despite a risk of failure.

Kay and Shipman provide an example of a professor who gave his students complicated puzzles to solve. It seemed that the male students were doing better on these puzzle tests than the female students. Then, he realized that his female students were leaving a lot more puzzles blank. The professor had everyone retake the puzzle test and instructed them to provide an answer to every question. The men no longer outperformed the women in the class.

A lack of confidence prevented women from attempting to answer questions, even though the eventual results showed that they could answer more correctly than they thought.

Confidence generally looks different in men than women.

The way women show their confidence isn’t the same as the way men do. It also likely wouldn’t be received the same way if it were.

Men, especially confident men, are more overt, dominant, and loud about their confidence. They are energetic and ready to voice their opinions. Confidence in men can also appear aggressive. In the workplace, this is often expected and may even be desirable.

Women are less aggressive with their confidence. Even if they are sure of themselves, there may be femininity or softness to the way they express it. For example,...