How to Make People Like you in 90 Seconds or Less Book Summary

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Brief Summary

We all know people who are “really nice, once you get to know me”. However, sometimes you need to make a good impression, and you need to do it fast: like when you’re on a date or you need to wow someone at a job interview. In Nicholas Boothman’s How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, he explains how to make a great first impression, and fast. Read on to learn why eye contact is key, why your body language could make you seem untrustworthy, and what to say to connect with someone you’ve just met.

About the Author

An English author and speaker based in Toronto, Nicholas Boothman wrote How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less. He founded the Persuasion Technology Group. After 25 years in fashion and advertising photography, he became a licensed practitioner of neuro-linguistic programmer. His writing focuses on human potential, persuasive communication, and improving relationships. The New York Times called him “Dale Carnegie for a rushed era”.

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How to Make People Like you in 90 Seconds or Less Book Summary Preview

Ever heard someone say, “People might not like me at first, but when they get to know me, they really like me”? That’s all well and good when you have the option of letting someone get to know you over a long period of time. However, sometimes you need to make a good impression, and you need to make it fast. We’ve all been in situations where failing to connect with someone quickly cost us a job, getting our way, or even a second date. So, how do you make a quick connection that leaves a positive impression? In Nicholas Boothman’s How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, he explains how to make a great first impression, and fast. Read on to learn why eye contact is key, why your body language could make you seem untrustworthy, and what to say to connect with someone you’ve just met.

Believe it or not, most people have already developed a good idea of how they feel about you in the first second and a half that they interact with you. Pretty fast, huh? Even though that snap judgment is made quickly, you can still influence the way people feel about you by making adjustments to how you present yourself. Since the things people first notice about you are your eyes, your body, and your face, let's talk about how you can use them to make a great impression.

So, first, let's focus on the eyes. Eye contact is key. Eye contact builds trust, so looking someone in the eye while they’re talking to you is an essential part of establishing trust. Psst: If you have a hard time with this one while engaging with someone, try to make a note of their eye color. For instance, let's say you’re approaching someone. As you’re walking towards them, try to detect the color of their eyes. Oh, and also, remember that too much eye contact can be sort of creepy. When making conversation or listening intently, make sure to look away occasionally. You don’t want your new acquaintance or possible love interest to think you’re a psychopath. They’ll figure that out later (just kidding).

Next, let's focus on your body. Or rather, your body language. The way you position your body says a lot about how you feel and heavily influences the way people feel about you. Think about how you carry yourself. Do you have your arms crossed while you look at the floor? When you express yourself with this body language, people will feel a range of emotions about you: dislike discomfort or even distrust. Avoid this by utilizing warm body language. Lean in (slightly) when people talk to you. Welcome people with a warm and firm handshake. Another trick is to consider where your heart is on your body, and consider where the heart is on the person you’re talking to. Let nothing block the imaginary line that goes from your heart to the heart of whomever you are speaking...