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Book Summary
The purpose of negotiation is to get the desired outcome from interactions with others. To reach a resolution, a communication exchange must take place. A principled negotiation method is a middle-ground approach that avoids pandering to the will of either side by coming to a resolution based on fairness and opportunities for mutual gains. Remember to keep the negotiation about the people behind the arguments, not the arguments themselves; do this by focusing on the relationship first and foremost before addressing the argument. Getting to Yes set forth the groundbreaking concept of the BATNA- Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. The best decision may actually be to acknowledge that no decision should be made after all.
The three criteria for judging negotiation methods are the ability to reach an agreement, the efficiency of the method, and its amicability towards all concerned interests.
The aim of any negotiation is to reach a wise agreement. What that looks like is one where position-arguing is not the foundation of the negotiation. Instead, merit-based negotiation is the root of compromise.
Positional arguments result in arguments between egos, as both parties become ‘locked-in’ and defensive over their respective stance.
Positional arguing is not efficient and can result in damaged or broken relationships between parties.
Instead, principled negotiation, which is merit-based, focuses on people, interests, and criteria and not positions and the egos behind them.
Never lose sight of the human element of negotiations; separate the people from the problem. People come first.
Negotiations happen between human beings with emotional investments and biases, not just sides of an argument.
The relationship between the parties on opposing ends of the negotiation is just as (if not more) important than the outcome of the negotiation in question.
Position-based negotiation creates a space where the human element and the argument become entangled. When this happens, it becomes all too easy to focus on the problem and not the other person(s).
Return the focus of the negotiation back to the people involved. Do this by addressing the three categories of problems associated with the human element of any negotiation: perception, emotion, and communication.
Perception: reality is subjective to the point of view of participants on either stance of a negotiation. In order to influence an opponent, empathize with their point of view by understanding their personal connection to the outcomes associated with their viewpoint. Then, loudly and clearly communicate those things which you are willing to accept that your opponent wants to hear.
The basis for an agreement can happen when both parties feel a sense of ownership for the ideas forming the root of the negotiation.
Emotion: Acknowledge that your opponent has fears, hopes, and personal feelings tied to their position. Build rapport by giving attention to their need for autonomy, appreciation status, and sense of purpose. Reflect on how your words may be perceived as a threat to your opponent’s image or sense of identity.
Communication: Communicate effectively by actively listening. Speak from a position of yourself instead of an attack against them. Acknowledge their concerns and let them know...
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