Sex at Dawn Book Summary

Book Summary

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Brief Summary

In order to move the needle forward on our conversations about monogamy and infidelity, we must be willing to discuss our true desires, even if they feel socially taboo. The more open we can be in sharing our personal stories, the more likely we are to bridge the gap between our culture’s promotion of monogamy and our biological belief in sex with multiple partners. Do not immediately write off the possibility of sexual inclusivity within a nuclear family household.

Additionally, rather than shying away from discussing sexuality with our children, we must engage adolescents in these complex, multi-faceted topics.

About the Author

Christopher Ryan, co-author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, is married to the book’s other author, Calcilda Jetha.

Prior to publishing his debut text, Ryan attended Saybrook University in San Francisco, California where he completed a Ph.D in psychology. Ryan’s doctoral thesis focused on the prehistoric roots of human sexuality, which ultimately became the basis of his writing.

Currently, Ryan hosts a popular podcast called Tangentially Speaking, which aims to inspire individuals to take stewardship of the planet.

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Calcilda Jetha, co-author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality and long-time spouse of Christopher Ryan, is a practicing psychiatrist with a focus in couples therapy and psycho-sexual disorders.

Jetha, who was born in Mozambique and fled with her family to Portugal amidst civil war, has conducted extensive research for the World Health Organization (W.H.O). Specifically, she studied sexual behaviors among rural Africans in order to help develop AIDS-preventions efforts for this population.

Calcilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan currently reside in Barcelona, Spain.

Topics

Sex & Relationships

Sex at Dawn Book Summary Preview

Key Insights

From an early age, many of us are told that we will one day fall in love and marry a suitor who is our complement in every way. Why is it, then, that even with the echoes of this moral obligation ringing in our ears, do we, as a species, so often feel inclined to search for something more in the form of an affair? Why is monogamy the prevailing point of view when humans have an innate tendency to deviate from its rigid structure? And now, with more marriages failing than ever before, ‘hook-up’ culture running rampant, and definitions of sexuality continuing to evolve, what is the future of sex in our world? And how did we get here from where we started out centuries ago?

Casual Sex

What’s your number? Yes, you know the number I’m talking about.

Sex partners.

Whatever your answer, chances are, it is much lower than the score of many of your hunter-gatherer predecessors, who led highly promiscuous lives and viewed casual sex as the norm.

In fact, sex was so commonplace in prehistoric times that it was often considered a community resource akin to food, shelter, and childcare. It was considered to be an effective process for keeping people cooperative and relaxed within their communities.

So, what changed?

With the rise of agriculture, cultures, and religions around the world began penalizing promiscuity through strict codes of conduct. Still--like the Romans who customarily allowed a bride to take part in an orgy before her wedding--some traditions that allowed for a suspension of the rules of monogamy continued to exist.

Shared Fatherhood

In the world today, if a man has fathered more than, say, 12 children, it is considered a bit of a taboo. In prehistoric times, this was definitely not the attitude that prevailed.

In fact, because childcare was considered a group responsibility, it did not necessarily matter who a child’s parents were. Instead, the group as a whole worked to keep offspring fed and sheltered.

In some South American tribes, this collectivist attitude towards parenting and sex continues to reign supreme. For instance, in the Ache tribe, each child has four types of fathers:

The one who ‘put it in’

The one who ‘mixed it’

The one who ‘spilled it out’

The one who supplied the child’s ‘essence’

In this culture, women are encouraged to have sex and collect semen from multiple men. Ache women also engage in sex with other women. Ache men involve themselves in same-sex pairings as well.

The Invention of Agriculture

While there are arguably many positive outcomes that came as a result of advancements in agriculture, scientists today believe that cultivating plants and domesticating animals on a large scale ultimately caused significant damage to our social and sexual lives.

How?

Along with agricultural innovation came the trio of evil: possessiveness, jealousy, and greed.

While hunter-gatherers had previously shared resources collectively, because they were on the move and nobody could travel with large amounts of anything, the rise of farming ushered in an era of sedentary living accompanied by competitive ownership and prosperity.

Soon, a chasm developed between the rich...