Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Book Summary

Book Summary

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Brief Summary

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb is a memoir that offers a behind-the-scenes look at therapy from both sides of the couch. As a therapist, Gottlieb shares the journeys of her patients while also opening up about her own experience in therapy following a personal crisis. The book explores themes of vulnerability, emotional healing, and self-discovery, providing an insightful and often humorous take on what it means to seek help and grow through life's challenges.

About the Author

Lori Gottlieb is an American writer and psychotherapist. She writes for the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for the Atlantic. She was born in Los Angeles and attended Yale College and Stanford University. She worked as a commentator for National Public Radio and as a contributing editor for The Atlantic. She has written for the New York Times, Time, Slate, Elle, and Oprah Magazine. She has appeared on television and radio as an expert on mental health issues.

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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Book Summary Preview

What does griping about an ex-boyfriend and hating your coworkers have in common? Both of these can be cathartic activities. They might also be tools that allow you to avoid dealing with your innermost feelings. Kinda heavy, right? But these are just a couple of the tactics deployed by characters in Lori Gottlieb's Maybe You Should Talk To Someone when they’re meeting with their therapist (and that therapist when she’s meeting with her therapist).

This book is all about uncovering revelations, particularly the ones that come after trying hard to keep certain thoughts, feelings, or fears under wraps. As the reader becomes more acquainted with the characters, it becomes clear that though they may appear one way on the surface, each person is guarding (or sometimes just unaware of) a multitude of secrets. As the characters become vulnerable with their therapists and reveal their truest selves, the reader discovers Lori is unveiling some observations of her own.

Human connection can be scary, so often, we avoid it.

69-year-old Rita goes to get pedicures because she is desperate for some kind of human connection. She has been socially isolated for about a decade when she finally seeks out therapy.

John went to therapy only to grapple with his insomnia. He spent sessions being rude to his therapist, making inappropriate jokes, and texting on his phone to create a boundary between himself and feeling any sort of intimacy with his therapist.

The therapist talked about her ex with her therapist incessantly instead of grappling with why the end of their relationship was so significant to her. All she wanted to do what chat about how angry she was at her ex.

Though in some cases it might not seem like it, all of these characters ached for human connection in different ways. However, they each found ways to avoid it. Whether the desire for connection is avoided with complete isolation, being rude, making jokes, or talking about everything but the issue, the problems they enter therapy with persisting as long as they continue to use tactics to avoid them.

Avoiding connections can be safe and comfortable, especially after being burned in the past. However, avoiding connection prevents problems from being addressed. Not only that, but the connection feels good. Life without it can be empty.

There is always more to the story than we might realize

John reveals that when he was six years old, his mom got run over by a car. Recently he had been in a car accident, and his son was six when it happened.

The therapist is lonely, and becoming fearfully aware of her own mortality, especially since she has started having strange symptoms that the doctors can’t diagnose.

Charlotte, a 25-year-old woman, cannot stop sleeping with “Bad Boys” and drinking, although she is having many negative consequences. We learn she came from a broken home, and now she associates love with anxiety.

On the surface, they appear to be a woman who won’t stop talking about her ex-boyfriend, a 25-year-old alcoholic who keeps sleeping with men who treat...